turmoil of winter

my super power has a dark side
i get so lost when it washes over me
i do my very best to keep it from you
and just when i think i am doing ok
i find myself sinking again

this infection that eats away at me
is never kind it's never fair
and so what sometimes i feel sorry for myself
but don't i have the right? don't have the right?

ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

my kind of beauty breeds a darkness
it kicks me down and seals me in
most of the world would prefer if we
just disappeared and slipped away

this infection that eats away at me
is never kind it's never fair
and so what sometimes i feel sorry for myself
but don't i have the right? don't have the right?

ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

in the after

i am left exhausted on the floor
this is not blissful
pressed against cold tiles
in a cheap hotel

and afterwards
i cry
because the touch of my own fingers
against my flesh
leaves me empty, unclean

lying here at 3am
in a city destroyed by war
there is nothing left here that is beautiful
no there is nothing left here that is beautiful

i try to imagine you beside me
inside me
but the memory fades
with every winter day
do you forget me too?
we couldn't have imagined
that our beauty
would be so fleeting

and the miles
they trick
they ache
until i bloody can't stand it anymore
so i learn to drown you
with him, with him, with him

sensible

what a mess
what a lovely mess
you will try to talk your way out of this
and i'll pretend that i don't feel a thing
you will sit on your hands and look away
when our eyes they meet for far too long
i will think up excuses to escape
leaving you aching and cold

but it's sensible
to sit up on this fence
it is easier to digest when you're just another muse
yeah it's sensible
but not to brave at all
if you're pulled in by my smile
you might not make it home tonight

what a mess what a lovely mess
i will try to drink my way out of this
with you beside me glass in your hand
i will sit on my hands and look away
when our eyes they meet for far too long
you will think up excuses to escape
leaving me aching and cold

but it's sensible
to sit up on this fence
it is easier to digest when you're just another muse
yeah it's sensible
but not to brave at all
if you're pulled in by my smile
you might not make it home tonight
yeah it's sensible
cause i don't wanna lose you
i can't bare to give you up
i can't bare to see you go...

england

oh england
what is this spell you've put on me?
i have fallen
for you and now i've got to leave

but if there's a way
if there's a way
i will find my way back to you
if there's a way
if there's a way
i will find my way back
find my way back
find my way back some day

between breeding seasons

i am a ghost who floats
colourless emptiness
i feed on
i am a self indulgent addict
who is losing myself
or just losing

all of the beauty that shines
when the light is not on
and i can barely move
i am so good at keeping secrets
sometimes
i forget myself

the more i take
the less i can give
and this dance we do
it never ends
black and blue
through and through
hanging from hooks
hanging myself
above a chair

i am the need that creeps
through the darkness
wading in flesh
i am dispersing my poison
disguised by
my own blood

just below the rib cage
is where
it hurts the most
a kind of desperate sadness nestling
between bones
between breeding seasons

the more i take
the less i can give
and this dance we do
it never ends
black and blue
through and through
hanging from hooks
hanging myself
above a chair
ooh
hanging from hooks
hanging myself
above
a
chair

all lyrics and music © emaline delapaix